Could returning to India be an option?

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By Rajkamal Rao

Go back to Dilemma

Many families, unable to balance the needs of the three generations in the west, ponder whether they should return to India for good.  If you have made it this far, you are certainly one of these families.  For those thinking about returning, the following factors generally weigh heavily:

Anti-US factors

1. Visa issues (e.g. H-1B expiry, green cards taking too long);
2. Work issues/Job stability (e.g. Dominant employer abusing employee, inability to find new employment sponsor, inability to raise startup capital for own business, excessive travel dislocating work-life balance);
3. Health issues (one or more members of the family unable to secure health insurance or health care at reasonable cost);
4. Inability to adjust to US lifestyle;
5. Children falling into trouble (social issues, drugs, discipline-issues at school);
6. A feeling that social values in the US - increased support for same-sex marriage; legalizing marijuana for recreational use in two states and for medical use in 19 states; continued weakening of the traditional family when more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage - are veering much more left-of-center than tolerated by the average Indian family;
7. Parents or loved-ones in India refusing (or unable) to travel to the US to spend time with (or provide support to) families settled in the US.  This is particularly a burden on families with young children;
8. A responsibility to protect and nourish the next generation’s connections with India’s relatives, culture, tradition, sights and sounds.  In other words, the fear that once settled as a migrant family in the US, future generations will forever lose their nexus with India.

Pro-India factors

1. Potential to raise children in a more traditional Indian culture including offering the benefits of teaching them (and sustaining) Indian languages;
2. Promise of a well-rounded grounding (music, arts, religion) for children - in and out of school;
3. Fulfilling an obligation to care for elders;
4. Increasing interaction with elders, friends and family (especially for kids), and vice-versa;
5. Potential to return to family business and property;
6. Chance of better career growth, ability to enhance comfort & privilege/stature (household help at home, cook, driver, etc);
7. Potential to re-enter Indian family and social life;
8. Potential to pursue business opportunities;
9. Potential to retire early to pursue a second career or to “give back” to communities in India through volunteering.